Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize