What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
