im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
