Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
