That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
