You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
