We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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