I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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