so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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