Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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