How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
