I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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