I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
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