you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize