dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
