Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize