just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
