Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
