I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
