In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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