Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm both gender and math confused
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize