Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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