why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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