it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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