Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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