Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
