Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
