just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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