i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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