i don't like sucking hair
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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