So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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