just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
