According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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