"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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