i will never coherently bang her
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
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I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
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