I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
