you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
