Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
