If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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