Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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