I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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