You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
50% drunk capacity currently
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
