Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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