doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
