butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
