i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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