dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
