ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
