Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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