Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
