my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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