Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
