Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
