So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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