who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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