we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
