Having a random hookup so left but love u
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
