there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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