It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
