Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
