you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Who died my cat blue again?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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