Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
